Select Page

Eddie Thomas’s Coffee Shop


Tea and Toast
from the glorious world of
George Bernard Adley.


You should understand, dear reader, that when Lily comes sailing into my print shop with the words "Georgie, we need to talk," you may stake your last shilling on the fact that this is not a matter of idle chit-chat. And don't imagine for one moment she'll tell you what this pressing matter actually is. No, first we are to proceed to Antonio's Roastery for coffee.

It's actually Eddie Thomas's establishment, and where the fellow acquired the name Antonio is a mystery known only to himself.

I made my case that I hadn't a farthing to my name, but Lily took me by the ear and hauled me, very nearly over the desk, straight out of the office. The coffee, mercifully, was to be on her.

Once installed, it was I alone doing the drinking of coffee. Lily, in recent years, has developed an alarming devotion to milkshakes.

"Georgie," she began, launching into her tale, "I am worried."

"Worried?"

"Worried," she confirmed, with a nod of the old bean.

And with that particular furrow upon the dear lady's brow, I could tell the worry in question ran deep.

"If this is about my wanting to name my cat Antonín Dvořák, then..."

"Georgie, I shall never understand you," she cut in. "Your business is genuinely in the soup, and you imagine I care two figs what you call your cat."

"And how, pray, do you know my business is in the soup?"

"Carol's been telephoning me. She says you're behind on the soap she delivered to you last week."

"But I never ordered the wretched stuff! She simply delivers as the fancy takes her."

"Isn't it a monthly arrangement?"

"Yes, I order it every month. But if I haven't ordered it, what on earth makes her think she can simply deliver it regardless?"

"She probably assumed you'd forgotten to order."

"My dear, that's her lookout, not mine."

"Seriously, Georgie, what is going on there?"

"Slight cash-flow difficulties. Nothing I shan't have well in hand presently."

"Yes, and haven't I heard that particular tune before. I know precisely how you go about getting things 'in hand.'"

"Well, what do you propose?" I asked, already aware that Lily would never have dragged me out here unless some scheme were already brewing beneath that fringe of hers.

"This very coffee shop," she said, with a smile so broad you'd have thought she'd just won the national baking contest.

"What about this very coffee shop?"

"We buy it!" She flung her hands skyward, positively radiant with excitement. "Or rather, we take it over."

"Have you gone entirely off your trolley? What do I know about coffee? And what on earth makes you think Eddie, lurking there behind his till, wants to give the place up?"

"He told me so," she said, looking thoroughly pleased with herself. "It's true. He's been taking evening courses to become a programmer. Something to do with computers. The man's making a career change."

It was at this precise juncture that I found myself in need of something considerably stronger than coffee. And it was at this very same juncture that a young man slunk in, clad in black denim and a Metallica T-shirt. With silver about his neck and dangling from each ear, and a tattoo of a hideous looking serpent coiled across his left hand, the fellow gave every impression of being under the influence of something that had rendered him remarkably tranquil.

"That's Jones," Lily whispered to me. "Our town's resident programmer. Though it's rather odd seeing him out in broad daylight. Like certain nocturnal species, he generally only emerges after dark."

"Perhaps he's come to give Eddie a programming lesson," I whispered back.

To cut a long story short, both Lily and I had entirely missed the mark.

To our considerable astonishment, it was Eddie giving Jones lessons, on the roasting of coffee, and all the attendant ceremony thereof.

"Now that," I observed, "is interesting."

"What is?"

"Here we have a coffee expert who dreams of bettering himself in life. So he labours away after hours, studying to become a programmer. And at the very same time, you have a programmer who dreams, day in and day out, of becoming a barista. It does rather seem the grass is forever greener on the other side of the fence."

Lily sighed. "All I see is that our plans have been thoroughly run over."

And it was at precisely that moment that my phone gave its small, insistent beep.

"Lily, old thing, I've a new order in. And not a small one either, mind you! I must dash."

Being the gentleman I am, I apologised profusely with a sparkle in my eye, and made my exit at speed. A man, after all, has work to be getting on with. And what with this new commission just landed in my lap, the grass on my own side of the fence had suddenly acquired a rather encouraging shade of green as well.

Ivory on a Cut-Throat

Oftentimes, it is the man, whom life has crushed beyond what the human heart can take, who stands firm in that solid character, higher moral ground and strength, who has more than once saved humanity.

And oftentimes then, it is the beautiful spoiled rich girl, brought up in the highest of society and sold to the vanity of puffed-up discourses, who disregard even the most common decencies toward a poorer class, resembling the deathly, bitter poison that devours body and soul.
But it was not so with the Clarke household.
Sophronia Rose Victoria Clarke grew up and ventured all her life in Ennismore, appropriately shielded from the rest of London. The young girl was mostly kept in the neat, dry, warm environment, filled with opulence in their family apartment.
But such was not the case in the Clarke household.
Barely sixteen years of age, she was curious about other people, and world’s to be explored. The books her father allowed her to read, were that of adventures and wars in Africa and India, of brave men and of wealth beyond comparison. Of diamonds being dug out of colossal holes, and of the largest sailing ships ferrying tea from the East Indies to the ports of England, where she, young Miss Victoria could enjoy that very tea while her imagination ran as wild as the ferocious beasts of that alluring dark continent.
Attired with a vigorous dose of ambition, her parents named her after the queen, but from the age of four or six, they comforted themselves in the notion that it was all in vain. Their little Victoria, had ideas of her own.
James Ward was also a man named after a King. He, however possessed none the nobility nor the character of a king. James was fortunate enough to have seen those diamonds Miss Victoria read about in the books, but never privileged enough to have owned one. Being warped by the greed of the mining trade, he joined the British troops in their fight against the Boers, and was rewarded with a Westley Richards’s bullet through the hip.
Armed with a cane, and a pipe and cheap tobacco, he lived in the kitchen of an apartment in White Chapel, barely keeping himself together with odd jobs at the docks. The world was a cruel and harsh place. Bitterness filled his belly. Self pity covered his soul.
Now not so often, but perhaps on a rare occasion it would happen that a young man in shanty clothes and in a wretched state, would after a long day at the quay, take his long walk home. And perhaps on such a rare occasion, a beautiful young girl in a Victorian dress would, in the spirit of youthful energy run after that man, having picked up something he accidentally dropped.
“Sir! You have dropped something that might belong to you? It must have fallen out of your pocket when you took out your pipe,” she said while feeling the cold ivory in her soft and tender hand.
“I don’t mean to trouble you, sir, but I’ve never seen anything like it, so beautifully carved with lions and elephants… What is it, sir?”
“Cut-throat.”
“I beg your pardon, sir?”
“It’s a cut-throat razor, Miss.”
“Oh! Truly remarkable. Rather a unique piece of art, I might add!”
With those few lines, young Miss Victoria and Mr James Ward met. Two ‘bluebottles’ however, watched the distinct couple on the pavement with stark suspicion.
“Bluebottles, you say?” She didn’t understand.
“Coppers. Policemen,” he grunted.
“Let us hide in here, I have so much to ask you. Please, sir?” She pleaded, pointing to the cemetery.
“T’s old graveyard? They’ll be lock’n up soon… I’s illegal you know, they’ll take us for grave robbers, they will.”
“Oh, who will know? We’ll hide behind the sanctuaries. It’ll be our wild adventure!”
He looked doubtful.
“My father is quite all right you know, a man of reputation,” she smiled with confidence. “He will put a word in, if ever necessary.”
“He’ll save you, Miss, sure thing. For me they’ll hang.”
“Oh, do come on! I want to hear all about it. Everywhere you’ve been. Perhaps you can even take me there some day, to those faraway worlds of beauty and splendour…”
Thus it happened that the most unlikely of couples, committed the most irregular of acts, by spending an entire night, conversing in the moonlight shadows of tombstones and ancient oaks, on the subject of an adventure they both knew almost nothing about.

 ***

  

Thank you for reading! 

Latest books available at your preferred retailer...

Impossible to separate

Her curse was her beauty. She was more beautiful than all the girls in the village, so she naturally attracted all of the available men, rich and poor, strong and weak, short and tall, handsome and cruel. It was bliss winning all the beauty contests, and receiving the vast amount of attention. She had her pick among suitable partners, but as soon as she committed to one, doubt crept in and she wondered if she would not be better off with another. Day by day she grew more frustrated until her life continued to exist through a constant flow of tears. Tears of disappointment. Tears of frustration. And eventually, tears of deep sorrow.

His curse was his knowledge, insight and creativity. On countless topics, he knew more about the world and the workings thereof, than any other person in the village. People were glad to listen to him speak, his words full of grace and wisdom. But with the vast amount of knowledge and a neverending flow of creativity, he did not know what work to do, or what line of career to pursue. His interests were as wide and as deep as the ocean, and his passion for everything beautiful, stronger than the most fearsome heart. This also drove him mad, and rendered him into a state of severe depression, not knowing what to do, or how to go about his life. His tears were also that of disappointment, frustration, and untimatly, deep sorrow.

When the two finally got to know each other, it wasn’t her beauty that attracted him to her. Nor was it his graceful words of wisdom and insight that attracted her to him. No, they just needed to look into each other’s eyes and know, that which connected them could not be expressed in words. Nor could it be measured in earthly value. For through their tears of disappointment, frustration and deep sorrow, their hearts were knitted in patterns of a heavenly rhythm. The kind of rhythm found in sounds that make men free. And through that, the healing they experienced became vibrant, so vibrant it was almost tangible.

When the people of the village then looked at them and saw their deep and beautiful eyes, and their radiant, shiny and healthy faces, they called them blessed. In and through their ignorance, the people of the village could not fathom the immense richness these two hearts held and felt. The wealth they possessed  knew no bounds. And when the two looked at each other, silent tears of joy expressed all that was meant to be said. For what was meant to be said and held in the tiny molecules of their moist cheeks, could not be uttered in an earthly language.

In the eyes of angels and men, their hearts were forever joined. And it would be, for as long as there was breath on earth, impossible to separate them.

 ***

  

Thank you for reading! 

Latest books available at your preferred retailer...

Coffee cups

There are just certain things in life a man needs to hide. Especially in this part of the Eastern Free State.

For instance, your neighbour’s cattle, that incidentally came strolling onto your farm as a result of a broken fence down by the poort. Or perhaps the collection of Martini-Henry rifles, taken from the Kakies in the Anglo-Boer war, now buried under a poplar tree not far from your home.

According to the law, these rifles are still government property but few of us farmers here in the Clocolan district agree with the new government or their policies. If it were up to us, we would still be fighting the English. I figure the only reason we didn’t go over to conquer Britain is that we are not interested in an island where the farms are the size of our own backyards.

I, on the other hand, did not feel the least bit of remorse about my stubborn neighbour, Pieter Wiese’s cattle on my farm and I felt even less guilty about the English rifles that I had taken. I was, however, ashamed about the fact that next to me, in my voorkamer, sat a very lovely and splendid-looking lady by the name Susan, and I could not even offer her a cup of coffee. The reason for my predicament starts with a whole different story that took place on the farm just before the war ended.

Chris Serfontein, together with five of us Boers were ordered to ambush the Kakies by the poort at a time when it was still his farm. The British had taken Pretoria and that did not sit well with us. We, along with many of our Afrikaner families, were more than willing to let the English know the war will be over when we say it is over.

We waited in the tree line until rather late at night and were much excited to see the English officers coming through the poort, but became more and more concerned about our own welfare when we saw that they were accompanied by little less than a regiment.

The six of us had seen some tough battles in the past few years but somehow we didn’t seem very enthusiastic about starting a fight with a whole regiment. The only exception was Danie Strauss.

Danie Strauss had read in the family Bible about how Gideon had taken on a whole army and Danie thought it rather brave and for reasons unknown to this day, convinced himself that we should do the same. Danie and I were the only ones young enough not to have families of our own yet, and the rest of the company of men seemed to view themselves as responsible husbands and fathers.

To us, there wasn’t really an argument, but Danie needed some convincing, and we sternly reminded him that Gideon had three hundred men at the time, and we were only six.

It came to pass that without any further need for words, awkwardly suppressed facial expressions or low-kept hand gestures, we quietly drew back to Chris Serfontein’s farmstead for a cup of coffee and a bit of rest from the long and hard day’s waiting. So much sitting on a rock can tire a man if he’s not careful.

To our surprise, Kobus Bosman mentioned that if we had one or two more men, we would have walked right over that regiment. We all agreed while purposefully avoiding eye contact with Danie who only shook his head in disbelief. Kobus Bosman did mention it however, while sitting comfortably on a riempies chair in the leisure and safety of Chris Serfontein’s farmhouse, and Danie revealed his thoughts quite clearly when he mumbled something about it impossible to please the Good Lord without faith and without the willingness to fight for what one believes in.

We didn’t have time for much conversation, for some of the soldiers from the regiment broke away and decided to investigate the one and only building on the farm which coincidently constituted of Chris Serfontein’s house.

Naturally, all candles and lanterns were put out but even with the moon shining, we couldn’t make out the exact number of soldiers kneeling down some distance from the house. It was chillingly quiet and the slight breeze we felt against our cheeks earlier that evening, disappeared as well.

Suddenly as vicious as thunder, the order came from an English officer for us to come out and present ourselves with our hands held up high, or they will (to put it in his words) blow the house up with shells that even the residents of Kimberley will hear.

We thought it very arrogant of this officer to be giving orders like that. We knew for a fact that Kimberley was at least four hundred miles away and without the slight breeze, or any wind for that matter, the sound will not reach even the church tower in Clocolan.

We also knew that the population of Kimberley are so deep in a hole, hauling out diamonds, they wouldn’t hear cannon fire, even fired from the kerkplein right in the middle of Kimberly. Based on the foolish words of the officer, we decided not to listen to a rooinek that doesn’t know what he was talking about, and just kept our heads as close to the kitchen floor as possible.

In the end, the English didn’t blow up the house like they said they would. They only sent what seemed like an endless amount of bullets through the windows of the house followed by, a few more rounds, puncturing the corrugated iron roof. Their reasoning must have led them to the conclusion that we cannot be anywhere else but within the roof, above the ceiling of the house.

What exactly these soldiers were thinking, I cannot tell. I have never heard of any boer foolish enough to hide within the roof of a house. I suppose it must have been easier, and in the minds of the fighting men, safer, to try and shoot every bit of the house to pieces, rather than risk coming closer. And who could blame them? In those days, a decent amount of stories ran through the English rank about how barbaric the Boers were, and what seven sorts of hell awaited the reckless soldier who happens to get himself caught.

To us who were keeping our heads low, it sounded worse than a hail storm coming down, and I more than once wondered if there were any corrugated iron roofs in Heaven, seeing that I was about to meet a few Biblical figures that very evening.

I did not go to heaven that evening.

Instead, all six of us fled through the low kitchen window at the back of the house which ran by the chicken coop and made our way to the kraal beyond the Bluegum trees. We were all in accord there and then that our families must have been missing us a great deal, and that it would be best to return to our homes, at least for a while. Those of us that didn’t have any immediate family, felt the same in the way that our cattle and farm workers must be longing to see us. The only mishap was that we had to do without our horses, but with the vigorous sound of gunfire behind us, we didn’t give it too much thought.

Soon afterwards, Chris Serfontein made the huge mistake by cutting the points of his bullets, making them dum-dum bullets and was executed right in front of his home. Not before he said some harsh words to the English officer about how dumb-witted he thought the English were for shooting hundreds of holes through his roof and that Igor, his pig had more brains than all the rooinek soldiers put together.

The war ended and I eventually took over Chris Serfontein’s farm with the vast amount of holes in the roof. Money was scarce and most of us had to rebuild our farms all over again. Burned down fields and houses and the mass slaughtering of livestock ensured that a fixed roof, if it didn’t consist of grass, was considered a luxury.

“The trouble with a leaking roof,” I said to Susan, “is that all my coffee cups are occupied in preventing the water from falling on the wooden floor.

I did not care to mention that I had, in fact, only four cups I inherited from my Grandmother, (One I accidentally broke and another was violently lost during an argument with the Sotho woman who worked in the kitchen.) Even these with their accompanying saucers were not entirely enough to keep the water at bay, but a Boer made a plan.

The floor was in serious need of shelter, as it was new and had not been treated as yet.

Susan, who sat by my side, gave a shy smile and it is amazing how a smile like that can fix one’s mind on matters other than protecting a floor. By candlelight, her red lips and dark brown hair caught my attention to such a degree that I never noticed the cups getting fuller and fuller as the rain came pouring down on the house.

There was no need for coffee. There was no need for little or much conversation. There was no need to brag about the heroism of Boers during the war, or the sorrows of the loved ones lost in the concentration camps.

There was only the warm atmosphere, the sound of soft rain on the roof, and two people who enjoyed each other’s company, entirely indifferent to the troubles of this world, or what the future held.

I never knew how tender the touch of her soft, white hands could be, nor the sensation of her eager young lips, which gave way to a passionate moment, we both never wanted to end.

I never knew that this beautiful young woman would make me a happy man, far beyond what I could have wished or asked for.

I never knew how happy and thankful I would be, that Danie Strauss gave way to reasoning and that we never dared to attack the British when we were only the six of us.

Like the cattle of Pieter Wiese on my farm and the English rifles buried under the poplar tree, the happenings of that evening with just the two of us in my voorkamer is something else I need to hide, particularly from the new Dutch Reformed reverend in town.

The happenings of that evening, of which I will leave the details to your imagination, are also something that I am not the least sorry about. Only the next morning was my attention drawn to my wooden floor, ruined beyond what any Englishman ever did to the roof.

Thank you for reading! 

Latest books available at your preferred retailer...